Not good, but signs of improvement.

I don’t get many comments on here but I found a comment on my last post and thought I would answer a question here.

First off, thank you for dropping by. I’ve been doing this weight loss thing on and off for 10 years and it’s not an easy battle but I am learning more each time. I am learning more about me and my ideals. About my habits. About fitting things around my life and I am pleased that this is being helpful to others out there.

So, thinking about it, I would give everyone trying to loose weight 3 tips.

1. Set small targets. See the short term more than whats on the horizon. Small targets are attainable and you can add to them. Wanting too much too quick feels a never ending battle.

2. It is the obvious and we all hear it time and time again but exercise. Make time for it. Make time for YOURSELF. If you really want something, it’s worth that extra effort. I have busy days with 3 kids and a house to look after. My cycling is my Me Time. It’s my getaway from the world.

3. The one I find most important is be honest with yourself.

We have good days and bad days. Recognise both. What made it good? What made it bad? What did you do about it? Did you mess up? Yes? Well don’t make that same mistake tomorrow. Tomorrow is always another day to prove yourself. Once the bad day is a yesterday, then you can move on and move up.

None of us are perfect. Least of all me.

That brings me nicely onto my post before I added all this at the start.

Ah, what a day.

I’ve been feeling pretty low.

After having a great few days on the diet and doing very well with the exercise, I am completely lost for motivation and fell into the old binge habit.

I decide to have an exercise break today as I am feeling tired and did alot yesterday. A rest day wont do me too much harm.

After a good start to the day with a good lunch and dinner, boredom took over.

I had my chicken salad dinner then began on the crisps and chocolate biscuits while I watch tv.

I feel bored not hungry!!

Still, I go to the kitchen and look through the fridge.

I decide a cheese and onion sandwich is what will make me feel better.

I make it.

I look at it.

I see my reflection in the kitchen window.

“What the f*ck am I doing?” I ask myself.

I look at the sandwich. 2 bread, margerine, cheese, onion, mayo.

I feel annoyed with myself and promptly throw it in the bin and walk away from the kitchen.

I CAN DO THIS.

This describes my ongoing battle with food. I’ve done this all my life.

I binge when things aren’t 100% how I want them. When I am bored. I am trying to break this habit.

I am beginning to break this habit.

I am learning about myself. My strengths, my weaknesses. My “triggers” as WW call them and I am finding it in me to fight it.

So, yes. I’m having a bad day but I have something to be proud of too.

New Target

So I’ve had the holiday that was a benchmark for my previous targets.

I did the cycling.

I didn’t do my weight goal.

I lost out by 5lb, but I am still pleased with that.

I know it was a big feat to loose that much in that short a time.

Can I now do 30lb by the time I become a wife?

I need to find that motivation again as I did slack over the past weekend. I can do this and I am doing it. I just need to get back in the swing of it and try hard once again.

37lb down and counting…….

And the total is…..

I am now at a new level.

36 pounds down on what I was when I began in October.

I still have a long way to get to where I want to be but in the past 5 months, I have got halfway to my “challenging target” for my wedding in August.

I still have 5 months to go so it IS possible to make it to the 70lbs I wanted to lose.

Originally I said I wanted to lose 50lbs as a REAL target. A target I was confident of achieving. That’s now only 14lbs away (1 stone) and it would be below my average weight  I have been most of my life. Another 20lbs on top of that would just be the best achievement of all but anything over 50 is an achievement in iteself.

2010 is the year I am going to win my lifelong battle and find a size, shape I am happy with.

Cheating?

Another 2lb off this week. Good-o.

I’ve reached my target.

That’s roughly from Ipswich (20 minute drive north of where I live) on the South East Coast of Britain to Bristol  on the Western coast almost bordering Wales, give or take a few km.

In total my challenge was 824 km from Colchester to Minehead and back again.

The original challenge was to cycle there before we went. I did it with weeks to spare. I’ve done the return journey with nearly three weeks to spare so that feels good.

I’ve actually done another 56km on top of that too. So I feel another challenge coming on.

My oldest son (6) raised an interesting question over the weekend.

“Mum, do you ever cheat on your bike?” He meant do I say I cycled more than what I really do.

The honest answer was a big fat NO! I then surprised myself with what I said in response.

“No darling, because the only person I would be cheating would be myself”

It was like the penny was dropping and the reasons I am working for all this was that much clearer. Only I can do this. I have to push myself. If I take shortcuts, if I mess up, the only person I  am letting down is ME. I am not “cheating myself” I am being ruthlessly honest and it’s the secret behind my current success.

I can’t forget that.

However far I go, and however I feel on a bad day/week. I’ve made it this far and want to go further!